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 This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later

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ramsvolleyball1
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PostSubject: This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later   Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:38 pm

The feelings that were changing within me were constantly switching from one to another. It would go from happy to sad to angry to furious to depressed. But lately all I have been feeling was anger and sorrow. Yet within me I have my own feeling of unhappiness. Sometimes there was a little voice in her head calling out to her, “Aida, Aida.” I told it to shut up and go away, but it repeated my name over and over again. There was no stop to it, no end.
It all started two months ago, I would be happy but there would be a nagging anger inside me or a nagging depression that wanted to let itself out.
I was happy even though I’m an orphan but I manage. It was getting harder and harder to find food now because I am unable to think straight. No, that’s an understatement. I am unable to control my movements except scream. All the headaches this caused me, all of the bad thoughts that ran through my head, thoughts that a sixteen year old girl shouldn’t ever think. The thoughts were there though, and so was the voice repeating my name. It was impossible to sleep and I was getting weaker with every passing hour, every passing minute.
When ever I thought about something to do there was only one choice that ever seemed reasonable, well reasonable to her. To us it would be a disaster. She was tired of the world, all of the sorrow and anger, all of the poverty and government. Words of hate were the only things she spoke now, but she only spoke to herself.
Living in an alley in New York City, Aida had lived a life of freedom ever since her Father abandoned her. She was twelve but was able to live for years working part time jobs in McDonalds or a pawn shop. No steady job and she never had her own house to live in. There are two reasons for this, one was because she was only sixteen and two was because she was never able to afford anything. She only started working at McDonalds when she turned sixteen. The owners never cared about her history, only if she was polite and wouldn’t ditch work. Back to Aida now in the present and her current problem.
The only choice she thought she had was suicide. That would stop the feelings for sure, that would also stop her voice too. That didn’t matter right now, she couldn’t think and she wanted an escape from this. So taking the only knife she had the one she used for self defense and to help eat, she brought it down upon her wrists.
Tears were streaming down her face, she didn't want to do this but some force brought the knife down. There was only one second of pain, but it vanished quickly. Soon her wrists felt like ice and she was everything was spinning around her. Her knees gave out from under her and she fell into the pool of blood, the blood coming from her wrists. Then there was nothing, just black, and she welcomed it and embraced it like a lover. She belonged to herself again.



Slowly opening her eyes she looked around her. It was dark but not the black she had welcomed when she had cut her wrists. Her feelings were still her own and there was no war going inside her head. But it certainly felt like it with the headache she had. “God, I must be dead. Finally, no more feelings that aren’t mine…” She was mumbling to herself, or she thought that at least. There was a man sitting behind her head watching her intently, but a grin was smacked onto his face. She heard him laughing and turned her head suddenly and felt the dizziness overcome her. It took a moment for her to focus her eyes again. “By God, you must be the angel to take me down to the devil.”
“That doesn’t entirely make sense you know, Aida. But if I look that handsome you can keep complementing me.” He got up and walked over to the other side of the room and came back with a cup in his hand. “Here, drink this. It’s not poison Aida” he mentioned when he saw she was hesitating.
“Three questions, who are you? How do you know my name? Lastly, where am I? This doesn’t look like the hell I was expecting, nor does it look like heaven.”
“I’ll answer them but I’m afraid I’ll do it out of the order you asked them. This isn’t the hell, and it I agree it doesn’t look good enough to be heaven. We’re in the Hospital I guess you could call it. Really it’s just an extra house that we keep sick people in. I know your name because we were watching you for quite sometime now. The answer to the final question, you can call me Chris.” He had lost his grin when he started answering the questions but quickly put it back on again.
“Why were you watching me? And I take it I’m not dead. Why did you rescue me?” She needed to have all of her questions answered before she could take anything in, and there were a lot of questions running through her mind.
“We were watching you because you’re an Empath, like the rest of us. Do you know what an Empath is?” She nodded. “We had to rescue you because there are few Empaths and we need as many as we can get. It was torture to watch you and not do anything, but we had to make sure you were safe. But when you cut your wrists we had no choice but to get you. And before you ask, there are Empaths stationed in every major city. I was the closest to you so I was the one to get you, any more questions?”
“Yes! How long am I going to be here? And where am I? Not the room but like city or town. Am I still in New York City?”
“You’re going to be here as long as it takes to train your gift. This is a small village in the mountains near your home. No one knows about it except for those who dwell here or are stationed somewhere else but have been here. Is that all?”
“No, so let me get this straight. You’ve been watching me, for how long?”
“Ever since your gift started working, two months ago.”
“It took you two months to decide if I was safe? No, don’t answer that. I thought I was going crazy so I cut my wrists and you brought me here, to train my gifts I think you said. What do you mean train? And how is this considered a gift?”
“I mean, put up walls to block out other people and how to use your gifts, just like school. You can do many good things with it, that’s why we consider it a gift.” He wasn’t used to be asking so many questions, he was starting to get lost but struggled to keep a straight face and a calm voice.
“What kind of things?” She could care less but how she got here, they could be criminals but all she wanted to here about was this so called gift. She loved reading and read whatever she could. But she loved magic.
“I’ll explain it when you feel better. For now I’m going to leave you here to rest for a little while. Would you like anything to eat or drink?”
“No I’m fine…” She laid her head down on the pillow and fell asleep.


“I think she’s awake.” A voice was whispering and another voice answered in reply.
“Of course she’s awake, she’s listening to us!”
“In that case would you shut up?” The voice was growing angry.
“Oh both of you are acting immature! I’ll go talk to her.” This voice was new but it sounded familiar. The figure walked over to her. “How are you feeling today?”
“How long have I been unconscious and how long have I been sleeping?” Once again she was firing questions at him.
“Full of questions still? Well you have been out for only three says all together. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, will you let me out of here, I want to go home.” She realized her mistake as soon as she said it.
“What home is that?” He asked harshly. Then softer, “You lived on the streets remember?”
“Yes I did, will you let me go! I need to go, I can’t stay here.” She was beginning to become frantic. The feelings were coming back and she was angry and sad and worried all at the same time. It made her confused and frantic. But he pinned down her arms.
“I told you she was dangerous.” The voice in the corner was whispering again.
“She’s just scared.” The other person was arguing.
“Dangerous!”
“Safe!”
“Both of you be quiet while I calm her down!” He was getting angry at them again.
“Who are you and why won’t you let me go?!” She was shaking and trying to break free from his arms but he was too strong for her.
“I’m Chris, remember? You can’t leave; don’t you remember we talked before you fell asleep?” He was confused; he couldn’t get through to her.
“I told you if you taught her how to put walls up she’ll block us out and we can’t control her!” The whispering voice was answered by the other.
“You told me so? I said we can’t do it forever, I never said we couldn’t do it until she learned though.”
“She’s blocked us and we can’t get through and neither can he! He’s the strongest of all of us, and he just finished training and he’s only nineteen! He’s the only one who can handle her.”
“Well he seems to be doing a very good job with that. Come we need to go somewhere else.” The figures in the corner left and now only Chris and Aida were left in the room.
“Aida! Stop struggling!” Chris was talking through clamped teeth. When she heard her name she lost a little struggle but only for awhile. Then it got caught up again.
“How do you know my name? I need to go, I can’t stay here!” Frantic was an understatement now, now she was hysterical. “Let me go!”
Chris opened his mind to hers to show her the feeling of calm and relaxed, but the reaction she gave was not what he expected.
She felt calm for a second but urgency overcame her; she closed her eyes and sent all she was feeling on the path that was calm and relaxed. It seemed to her like a blanket, she just pushed all she felt over the calm wave and it died away. She started to feel a little better, but when she opened her eyes she screamed.
Chris was on the floor groaning, the mental attack caught him off guard and he wasn’t prepared for it. He tried to put up a wall between them and only blocked some of the attack. The rest he took on and he fell to his knees. When he heard the scream though he blocked out the pain and went back to Aida who looked like she had just seen a ghost.
Aida did feel like she had just seen a ghost because when he fell on the floor he looked like her older brother before he died. There was a car crash and he was fine one moment, but the next he was on his knees dying. The doctors said his brain cells all died from something like an overload. She blamed herself, her mom and brother both died that day. And Chris looked like her brother when he died. For a moment she blamed herself then the next she felt herself push away from his comforting arms and bolt out the door where she fell into someone else’s arms.
“Thank you Sally for catching her. I thought I lost her.” He had an after her and saw her crying on Sally’s shoulder.
“No problem, do you want me to take care of her until both of you guys feel better? She doesn’t seem to want to be around you and I think she just needs a girl to help.” Sally was always someone who offered help at just the right time. But he flinched when she said that, he never thought of himself as scary and this was a wake up call for him.
“That would be a miracle. Thank you, I think I need to go get some rest. I’ll check up on her later then.” He sighed in relief and walked away after she nodded and turned all of her attention to Aida.
“Come now, what’s your name?” She was soothing, not a strong Empath but was always a gentle person.
“I… My name is Aida. I didn’t kill him did I?” She hadn’t seen him or heard him when he came; everything was black around her until she heard Sally’s voice. The voice of an angel; that was how she always remembered it. She looked up at Sally with tears streaming down her face.
“No deary, you didn’t kill him, he walked away just now. He needs some rest but he’s fine. Now you come with me and I’ll make you a cup of tea. How’s that sound?”
“That sounds fine, what’s your name Miss?” At least she remembered to be polite.
“Oh deary, my names Sally. I want you to promise me something though. Promise me that you’ll try and remain calm, if you feel something is bothering you tell me or someone else. I’ll try and help you as much as I can.” She put her arm around her like a mother and started walking. Then she noticed the tears had started falling again. “What’s wrong Aida?”
“You seem like the mother I never had, I’m sorry.” Then the sobs grew even worse.
“Put those tears back, it’s us that should be sorry. I’ll tell you about the first time they brought me here; I was just as confused as you. It happens to everyone…” She trailed off into the story and they ended up at her home. The tea was set and they trailed off into more stories when at last she fell asleep. Sally picked her up and put Aida into her bed. “You’ll sleep here; I can sleep on the couch deary. Sweet dreams.” She planted a kiss on her cheek and left the room closing the door as silently as she could.
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PostSubject: Re: This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later   Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:43 pm

okay so I read some of this and I thought it was really good. But, and now this is a new thing for me too that I struggle with, I believe that you are telling to much rather than showing. I'm not great at editing and I suck at this sort of thing, but maybe someone else who reads this will be able to shed some more light on it? Awesome start though. Oh and by the way, you do know that an empath is someone who can feel emotions, not see things right? It's probably from the word empathy, too be able to feel or sympathize with another person. Very Happy

Edit, the empathy comment was because you mention voices, so it makes it a little confusing. D
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PostSubject: Re: This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later   Thu Sep 02, 2010 5:38 pm

i didnt mean to mention voices, i hate it when i get things messed up, forget anything with voices. i see what you mean, once i get the basic story done i'll go back and fix it, thanks XD but the voice calling her name was the people watching over her which i'll explain later in the story
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PostSubject: Re: This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later   Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:00 pm

cool cool. again it sounds AWESOME. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: This is called Empaths right now, I'll change the name later   Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:07 pm

thanks XD
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