In the dark of the night, in a forest, silent but for the soft sound of sobbing, a young girl lay curled up on the forest floor crying as if her heart were broken. Soon the light of the dawn crept across the girls face and she opened her eye. Her entire world had been turned upside down in an instant the night before. Everything she had known was gone. She was alone in the world now and felt completely empty. No longer would she hear the sound of her younger siblings’ laughter. No longer would she see her parents loving smiles. Her best friend who she shared everything with was no longer there to cheer her up when she was down and to share the secrets of the world with. Her boyfriend whom she cared for deeply was no longer there to kiss her so sweetly to hold her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. It was all gone. The fire had destroyed everything.
On the day of the fire, we were celebrating my 15th birthday. Jonathan and Lana had come over to eat a family dinner with me. Jonathan, Lana, and I were hanging out in my bedroom. Jonathan and I were cuddling on the bed and Lana was sitting on my favourite bean bag in the corner. We were listening to some music from the radio, ‘When I look at you’ by Miley Cyrus was playing. “How does it feel to be one year older?” asked Lana.
“Pretty much the same,” I replied. “Do I look older?” I asked purposely making a funny face.
“Oh yeah,” said Lana with a grave face. “You look positively ancient.”
“I concur,” said Jonathan gravely.
“Guys,” I said exasperated. “You are both too good of actors I’m going to get a complex.”
“Fine,” said Lana good naturally. “But you really do look a little older. In fact I think I see a wrinkle”
“Lana,” I cried, laughing.
“No, no really, right there between your eyes,” she said in full laughter now. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing again, with Jonathan joining in soon after. We all laughed till we were breathless. My parents having heard all the laughter came up and knocked on my door, entering when they heard my hiccupping “Come in”.
“What’s so funny?” My dad asked, which just started us all laughing again. “Must be an inside joke” my dad said to my mom, who just shrugged her shoulders, as if to say, teenagers.
“ Well guys you’ve hogged Amber long enough and it’s suppertime. We’ve got a ‘gourmet meal’ for you,” dad said jokingly. My dads’ idea of a gourmet meal is to call the local pizza place. Which is fine for me, they had really good pizza.
We had all just finished eating when mom went into the kitchen. Emerging a few minutes later, she held a strawberry cake with 15 candles adorning it. Everyone started to sing happy birthday. After blowing out the candles and cutting the cake everyone headed to the back porch to eat it.
Everyone but Jonathan and I had soon left the porch, my parents and sisters to head to bed, and Lana claiming a ‘headache’ stating that she was heading up to my room to take a nap, and that she would see me later. Jonathan and I were curled up in the large porch chair with his arm around my shoulders and his jacket in my lap to ward of the chill of the night. Jonathan and I sat in silence for a while watching our breath in little puffs of fog. “Amber,” Jonathan said. I hmmmed in his general direction enjoying the warmth of his body and feeling slightly sleepy, watching the sky slowly bleed to red and yellow. The sun was setting. “Do you love me?” That startled me out of my stupor. “I don’t know” I answered honestly. He seemed to consider my answer for a few minutes. “I think I’m okay with that for now.” Giving him a puzzled look I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
Jonathan and I were startled awake by the sound of the fire alarm. We both turned to the house to see what was happening. I couldn’t see anything that was the matter, but I smelled smoke. Putting aside Jonathans jacket, I stood up and headed inside the house to further investigate. As I was walking through the house, the smell of smoke became even stronger. I headed toward the stairs leading upstairs, I could see the flames slowly coming down from the stairs eating everything in its way. “Mom! Dad!” I called my voice trembling in fear. “Sara! June!” I yelled choking on the smoke which was getting thicker by the minute. I couldn’t make my way up the stairs because the fire blocked my way. “Mom! Dad! Sara! June! Lana!” I yelled, hoping to wake them up. I started to hear small whimpers that had been drowned out by the roar of the fire. “Amber” I heard a small voice cry.
“Amber!” “Amber what’s happening?” “I can’t breathe,” cried June. “Sara and Lana won’t wake up”. Coming out of the hallway upstairs she saw the flames eating their way up the stairs. “Ahhhhhh!” she screamed. “Amber what’s happening?” “Help me!”
“June I need you to try to wake Sara, Lana, Mom and Dad up.” “Do you understand?”
“I’ll try.” June whispered. June headed first into my parents room and was in there for several minutes. “Amber, mom and dad won’t wake up” June said quite panicked now.”
“Try to get Sara up” I said, feeling panicked now myself. June disappeared into the room she, Sara, and for tonight Lana shared, and didn’t come back out. “June” I called panicked now. The fire had now crept its way to my parents’ door. They were trapped in the room and wouldn’t even wake up.” “June” I cried very scared now. Jonathan had made his way into the house.”
“Amber,” he called. “We have to get out of the house.”
“Everyone is stuck upstairs though.” I yelled, the crackling of the flames drowning out the sound of my voice .
“We can’t save them” he said, as he grabbed me around the waist and threw me over his shoulder.
“NO!” I cried pounding at his back and shoulders. “We have to save them!” Jonathan carried me out to the back porch and beyond it into the yard. Saying very firmly to say there, I then saw him run back into the house to try to save my family. “Jonathan, Nooooooooo” I wailed knowing that he was only going to his death. My family was most likely dead by now, if not by the flames then by the great plumes of smoke that I could see coming out of the house. With a large crack I heard and saw the second story of my home collapse, making me lose all hope of ever seeing anyone that was in that house again. Eventually the fire trucks came and put out the rest of the flame. No one bothered to look in the back yard for me most likely thinking that I had died in the fire along with my family. I sat dazed, looking at the ruin of my house, my life, and cried. Eventually a neighbour saw me and directed one of the few emergency workers that had stayed to me. They wrapped me in a blanket and asked all sorts of questions that I was too numb to answer. Soon realizing that I was in no shape to answer their questions they left me there to finish their work and promised to call a social worker to help me.
I had left before any social worker had a chance to see me. I fled to the forest near my house, my tears blinding me. Finally I collapsed in an open field and wept, wept as my heart broke. I was alone, so very alone. A few months of numbed pain passed. I was moving through my everyday life with my emotions smothered down so as not to feel the pain anymore. For the past few months all anyone’s said to me has been “Are you alright?” and “How are you doing?”. What can I do but plaster on a smile and reply with a “fine”, even though the pain still eats away at me. That’s all they want to hear anyway. Eventually even that will stop. What can stop the world for you, doesn’t stop the world for everyone, life goes on for everyone, even you. Now when I look back on the day of the accident everything has already started to fade in detail. The flames consuming the house seem less vivid and I rarely remember the screams of my loved ones anymore. But I think I’ll always remember the look of my little sisters’ face as she presses it against the glass of the window on the second story. Always remember her screams for help, her little arms to weak to open the heavy window. The feeling of despair I feel as the flames flare up around her little body just before the second floor collapses. Or the sight of my boyfriend, Jonathon running into the burning house to help my family. Never to emerge again caught in the collapse of my childhood home. The police were never able to find out why my house had gone up in flame like a huge bonfire, so I would never know why my family had died. My name is Amber Redford and it has been 5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days and 14 hours since everything I loved died.
